Soul Of a Robot

My poetry page. If you don't like poetry, GET LOST YA BUGGER! Or read it and tell me what you think.
2006 © All copyright remains with tuff517 [Everything here is mine unless otherwise noted]

Monday, February 13, 2006

Stolen - Edit 1

Uhhh... I think I changed like, one word. I still want to change the first line. It seems too cutesy. I could change it to "someone".

My cat Someone is stealing my breath.
Each morning I wake with less air in my lungs
Each breath I take is shallower than before
At times my lungs will rebel
Breathing deeply and taking me by surprise
Reminding me that I was almost unconscious.

1 Comments:

  • At 3:52 PM, Blogger Death Warmed Over said…

    Liked the cat only because the wives tale was a cat would hover over a baby and steal its breath or smother it. That was the image that came to mind for me, darkening the poem somewhat. So I didn't percieve the "cuteness" Still, nice piece.(That's what I like about poetry, different people get different images from the same work)

     

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